Rain Rain come and play

In high school I worked as a waitress at a funky organic farm with all sorts of kooky people. One lady, Barbra, told me that spinning clockwise in the grass with bare feet clears your chakras. So before my shift, almost every day, her and i would go out into the lawn and spin.  Then some of the other girls who I worked with would do it with us.  Soon it was what we did on our breaks.  And lets face it... it's better than smoking a cigarette!  Sometimes people would see us spinning from the windows in the restaurant and would ask us what we were doing when we got back in. We got all kinds of comments, good and bad. But... I have found over the years that while spinning the grass goes make me feel better, it is so much better if it's raining too.   Rain Spinning is the best!

I think Gene Kelly had it ALMOST right.  Singing in the rain may be what did it for him.... but spinning in the rain is where it's at for me.

I look out my living room window with anticipation. I see grey skies and swaying trees. The weather man is predicting a wonderful storm. All signs are good for some rain spinning today!

I find myself looking forward to it so much that I keep stepping out onto my porch and sniffing, sniffing for that first hint of rain.  

I have been so stressed out lately that all I want to do today is cry. If the skies let loose a good storm and I can be out in it for a little while... I think I will feel better. I need something in my world to "let loose".  

So here I am, watching and waiting with hope of a down pour. 

Rain Rain Come and Play!

Take some of my cares away!

(my own version of the rhyme)

Buh-Bye FAT ASS!!!

In my past I have had GREAT success with Weight Watchers.  When I took it seriously that is. As shitty as it makes me sound... I took it most seriously when I paid for it myself. *sorry mom*

Today was Day 1!!!  

I already know when I have the most trouble sticking to *the plan*.  Late at night!  

I'm a snack-er.  Usually a couple hours after dinner I get the munchies. And munchies are anything that isn't nailed down really.  I try not to buy "bad" snack food.  But May eats better when she can snack on healthy things rather than at "meals".  She is a Fly By Eater.  For those of you who know her personally.... You know she is a BUSY little woman.

I can proudly say that I'm feeling very confident that I can make this work for me again.  I lost almost 45 lbs the last time I did WW successfully.  I felt AMAZING!  

My Goals: 

* To get back into a size 16-18.  ( I know that some people think this is HUGE but I can tell you.... I would look dead if I ever got into a 10 or something tiny like that)  This is a lot of work for me.  I'm not about to tell you all what size I am now, but know... this is going to be a lot of work. 

* I will be a bridesmaid for my Longest Friend sometime in the future. She has yet to set a date but I want to be ready when I'm called. I don't want to look at photos of her wedding and think " Holy Cats!  I look like I'm about to EAT THE BRIDE!"   This is not a good look for anyone. 

* I want to FEEL sexy.  I have no question of my husbands opinion of my sexiness .... but right now... his opinion doesn't even penetrate my own self disgusted mind. 

* I don't want to be the FAT mom!   I don't want to be at the park and be the biggest mom on the bench. I would rather not be on the bench at all! 

I accepted that I would never wear a bikini years ago. It pains me none at all to wear a 1 piece. 

I also sport a pair of cankles no matter what size/weight I am. It's genetics baby, and it's a bitch!

I have a big ol' booty.  That also doesn't ever really go away. I would just like it to be smaller and still size proportional. 

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! 

Now, on to Day 2