GOOD TIMES

I have had a good week.  It has been insanely busy but it has been wonderful too.  I feel like this week was a complete success.  I passed both tests I had to take, I got to spend a day alone with my husband. I got to see a friend/cousin that I don't hang out with nearly enough. I was reminded all week that even though missy May is CRAZY and strong willed most of the time... she is perfect and I love her more than anything!  And to top it all off.... tonight I got to see my husband very very happy because he got a new toy.  He works so hard for me and May that he rarely gets to have anything off his list of "wants and wish I hads". Well today was HIS day.  He got new shoes (badly needed) and a PlayStation3.  His face lit up and he looked like a little kid who got the present he really really wanted for Christmas. I was so happy for him. The PS3 was a big purchase but he doesn't even get small things very often.  He was due!

I hope that next week is as good as this one has been.

no jinx

I don't want to jinx myself...  but I feel GREAT!!!!    Like I kinda want to do the old Tony the Tiger GGGRREAT! with my finger pointed to the sky!  

GOALS!!!!

It has been about 6 months since I wrote anything in this Blog.

Shame on me!

I am back to being a full time student. No more breaks for this lady!  If all goes well I will be finished with my pre-req's in 3 more quarters.  I will then have 7 quarters until my RN. After that I will be working on my Bachelors in Nursing. And when I have that, then I will start working on my Masters!  I have a goal!  This will take me Y-E-A-R-S!!!  There is a chance May will be doing her own home work by the time I get to the end of my journey!  But I don't care!!  I want it SO BAD. 

So here is the plan thus far:
~ finish Pre-Req's.
~get RN
~get job!
~get BSN
~get Masters
~get good paying job I want and love!
~help support my family in a better way, and show my daughter to work DAMN hard for her goals!

Not a bad plan, if I say so myself! 

My mantra right now is 10 more quarters!  10 more quarters! 10 more quarters!

I will also start taking day time classes next quarter instead of evening. This means that May will be going to DayCare!!   I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I don't doubt she will have a blast with her Auntie Tara 4 days a week. I just don't know how much I will miss my days with her.

Lately I have been having some late nights of homework, and tonight isn't any different.  So I will end this post with a "Goodnight!"

G'night!

Rain Rain come and play

In high school I worked as a waitress at a funky organic farm with all sorts of kooky people. One lady, Barbra, told me that spinning clockwise in the grass with bare feet clears your chakras. So before my shift, almost every day, her and i would go out into the lawn and spin.  Then some of the other girls who I worked with would do it with us.  Soon it was what we did on our breaks.  And lets face it... it's better than smoking a cigarette!  Sometimes people would see us spinning from the windows in the restaurant and would ask us what we were doing when we got back in. We got all kinds of comments, good and bad. But... I have found over the years that while spinning the grass goes make me feel better, it is so much better if it's raining too.   Rain Spinning is the best!

I think Gene Kelly had it ALMOST right.  Singing in the rain may be what did it for him.... but spinning in the rain is where it's at for me.

I look out my living room window with anticipation. I see grey skies and swaying trees. The weather man is predicting a wonderful storm. All signs are good for some rain spinning today!

I find myself looking forward to it so much that I keep stepping out onto my porch and sniffing, sniffing for that first hint of rain.  

I have been so stressed out lately that all I want to do today is cry. If the skies let loose a good storm and I can be out in it for a little while... I think I will feel better. I need something in my world to "let loose".  

So here I am, watching and waiting with hope of a down pour. 

Rain Rain Come and Play!

Take some of my cares away!

(my own version of the rhyme)

Buh-Bye FAT ASS!!!

In my past I have had GREAT success with Weight Watchers.  When I took it seriously that is. As shitty as it makes me sound... I took it most seriously when I paid for it myself. *sorry mom*

Today was Day 1!!!  

I already know when I have the most trouble sticking to *the plan*.  Late at night!  

I'm a snack-er.  Usually a couple hours after dinner I get the munchies. And munchies are anything that isn't nailed down really.  I try not to buy "bad" snack food.  But May eats better when she can snack on healthy things rather than at "meals".  She is a Fly By Eater.  For those of you who know her personally.... You know she is a BUSY little woman.

I can proudly say that I'm feeling very confident that I can make this work for me again.  I lost almost 45 lbs the last time I did WW successfully.  I felt AMAZING!  

My Goals: 

* To get back into a size 16-18.  ( I know that some people think this is HUGE but I can tell you.... I would look dead if I ever got into a 10 or something tiny like that)  This is a lot of work for me.  I'm not about to tell you all what size I am now, but know... this is going to be a lot of work. 

* I will be a bridesmaid for my Longest Friend sometime in the future. She has yet to set a date but I want to be ready when I'm called. I don't want to look at photos of her wedding and think " Holy Cats!  I look like I'm about to EAT THE BRIDE!"   This is not a good look for anyone. 

* I want to FEEL sexy.  I have no question of my husbands opinion of my sexiness .... but right now... his opinion doesn't even penetrate my own self disgusted mind. 

* I don't want to be the FAT mom!   I don't want to be at the park and be the biggest mom on the bench. I would rather not be on the bench at all! 

I accepted that I would never wear a bikini years ago. It pains me none at all to wear a 1 piece. 

I also sport a pair of cankles no matter what size/weight I am. It's genetics baby, and it's a bitch!

I have a big ol' booty.  That also doesn't ever really go away. I would just like it to be smaller and still size proportional. 

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! 

Now, on to Day 2

Registering for Fall Quarter....

 TAKE THAT DINNER!!!

Wise

I have recently been shown that the things I've lived through in my short 26 years alive are all for a reason!

I have been able to share some insights with my BIL (brother in law). He is having to really grow up now, and we all know that's hard to do sometimes.

I have been able to talk to my friends in their times of need and more importantly listen to them.  Coffee is just a clever excuse to spill our guts.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't try to learn something new. Something to better my own life, as well as someone else's later down the line.

I have always wanted to be a wise old woman one day, to be someone people come to in times of trouble. But lately I'm noticing that people are coming to me and I'm not, yet, a wise old woman.   Maybe all this is telling me that I'm on my way to being that lovely old woman who knows a lot and has lived a lot and who talks... a lot!   Perhaps wearing this t-shirt!